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To walk within these lines is to live life perfectly undefined

` Erika *
Date: 2007-11-11 20:59
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
So, I just ordered Chinese food for my family and paid way too much for it. I also ate one itty bitty piece of shrimp and now I feel as though I suck at life. I'm allergic to shrimp, if you didn't already know that. My throat is itchy. I itch all over. And, my lips are tingling. You know how you're supposed to take like one dose of Benadryl? I took like two doses. I have a feeling I'm going to crash out in a sec.

Maybe I'll go watch "Without A Paddle" as I zone out. I think I have decided that Matthew Lillard is semi-attractive to me. Okay, he is attractive in an aDORKable kind of way. Whatever.

3 day weekend! Score!

Which, of course, means that this coming up week is only a 4 day work week. The following week is Thanksgiving, so another 4 day work week, well, 3 1/2. :)

I went to see my stylist earlier and got my hair cut. Now I feel like Jessica Simpson, except my hair is shorter. I miss it being as long as it was. I really do. And, it has only been, oh, say, 4-5 hours since I have departed with it. I told her about wanting to get the Gastric Bypass surgery and how I am going to. She was so excited and happy for me. I am very excited and happy for me. It's time for it.

My mom has been giving me some problems lately. She called me last night at midnight just to see what I was doing. Yeah. Right. She was doing it to be nosy. Every since she found out that I'm working on getting the Gastric, she has been "praying" that I don't get it. Which, you know, is horrible because it would be in my best interest. I think she would just be jealous if I did get it. If it isn't something to benefit HER then she doesn't care. She has never had my best interest in mind and doesn't really care what happens to me as long as she can feel better about herself and her common law husband (who is biologically my dad, whom I have absolutely nothing to do with). It made me kind of mad that she called. She knew it was after midnight and she knew that I was in bed because I wake up at like 5am every weekday. It's very selfish to be honest, but I really wouldn't expect anything less.

Anyway, I guess I'll go now.

I'm starting to feel loopy and I want to watch that DVD. Later! :)

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` Erika *
Date: 2007-11-10 23:27
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
♥ I want to be a light that shines brighter than any star. ♥
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` Erika *
Date: 2007-11-08 21:06
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
I'll be writing in this journal faithfully from now on. I missed blogging. I came back and read previous entries that I have wrote and laughed. It's funny to see how much changes in a short period of time, for instance:

-I got a new car! Well, it's not new, it's used, but it is new to me. It's a baby blue silverish Dodge Stratus sport and I love it.

-I have been working for the Army and Air Force for 9 months now. In this period of time, I have worked my way up to getting a military promotion and a $1.50 raise per hour.

-I'm still in college. I'll begin attending the University of Phoenix on December 17th. I'm still a business major and am sticking with that.

-I talked to boss about my future at the corporation I work for now and my plans to move up to be a buyer. She said that would be the ideal job for me because of my personality, outgoing'ness (if that's even a word), how I'm friendly, etc. Not to mention, that I have been doing much of her job and she IS a buyer.

-My sister had her baby in March and they live with us. Since the baby was two months premature, we had many complications with her, but she is now doing fabulous. She's huge! She is way past her premie state.

-I got my nose pierced. That's not exactly something that would make news headlines or anything, but it's a part of me now.

And, the newest bit of information going on in my life is I believe I am going to get the Gastric Bypass surgery.

I am so tired of being overweight. It's not that I over-eat or anything. I eat the same as everyone else. I exercise. I have tried every diet and exercise plan together that is known to mankind, to include plans that I, myself, have created. Nothing works. Ever. So, I'm going to go to the doctor and talk to them about everything. I weigh too much and it is getting ridiculous. If I do have children in the future I want to be healthy for them. It's not fair to them if I'm not. My mom just found out that she is a diabetic. I don't want to have to deal with diseases such as that if I don't get my weight, etc, taken care of.

Hopefully, if everything goes as planned, I'll be getting the surgery in April or May. My friend's friend got it done at the age of 21 and lost over 100lbs within 5 months. That's what I'm going for.
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` Erika *
Date: 2006-12-27 16:40
Subject: It has been FOREVER
Security: Public
Whoa, long time no update!

I have no idea where I have been at. So much has happened within the time that I haven't written and now. I'll fill you in on a few things.

-I quit my teaching job, as I have decided that teaching is not for me at all.
-I changed my major.
-I finished the fall semester.
-I enrolled in classes for the spring semester.
-I majorly changed my hair color.
-I am currently jobless and am mass applying for a job at, you guessed it, the government agency.

But I'll fill you in on all of that later. Maybe. ;)
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` Erika *
Date: 2006-11-15 22:52
Subject: Blah..
Security: Public
I didn't get to go to work this morning. I woke up very nauseated with a stomach virus. I was also running a slight fever. I think I caught something from one of the many children I am constantly around on a daily basis. I was, however, feeling better by the time this freezing evening came around, so I went to class. I feel really bad that I couldn't go to work today. I actually missed being there. On the bright side, I managed to get in some much needed rest.

I made a 90 on my history book review that I was worried over. I had a stupid media project due yesterday for my Arts class. I was going to turn it in tomorrow, but I just didn't have time to complete it. My printer is out of black ink, so I couldn't print any of the images off. Ugh. Oh well, he will just have to wait till' next Tuesday.

My final exam in that class will also be over as of next Tuesday. All we have to do is visit the Dallas Museum of Art and write half a double-spaced page on our favorite piece of art in the museum. This particular museum is having an exhibit on Vincent Van Gogh. Starry Night is my favorite painting, so it shouldn’t be hard at all. I’ll be going twice, anyway. I’m excited!

I guess I’ll go now. I have to be up really early in the morning to go to work. Adios!
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` Erika *
Date: 2006-11-05 12:57
Subject: This is actually true, I think?
Security: Public
Music:Watching some weird movie

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.

That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!

The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.

Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.

You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.

Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.

As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

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` Erika *
Date: 2006-11-05 00:19
Subject: Goal: to stay sane
Security: Public
Music:"Believer" by MaryMary
I went to my biological mom's house tonight and spent some time with her and my Nanny. I didn't expect to stay as long as I did, but those five hours flew by. It was actually really nice. I never see my mom anymore. I work days and she works nights. Just like my aunt (who is basically my mom). I get up super early to be at work at 7 am and get off at 3 pm, then go to school. She wakes up around 9'ish in the morning and has to be at work at 2:30 pm, which makes her not get home till' around 11:20 pm, and I go to bed around 9:30-10 pm. When we're both not working, my biological dad is around, which means that I stay as far away as I possibly can. My Nanny has kidney cancer, as well as lung cancer. They say she isn't going to live too long, but they have told her that for years. Since God is still in the miracle working business I am not even going to worry about it.

I think I am going to try to get a new Kia. Actually, I know I am going to try to. I just filled out the pre-approval application, as well as filled out for an auto loan at Capital One. God willing this will work out and I'll be driving a new car within a week.

Audra and I have been arguing for over an hour. I'm so tired of going over the same things again and again. I, apparently, am unappreciative of the things she does for me, when I do just as much for her. So, whatever. This is why I hate asking people to help me in any way. I would much rather stress myself to death rather than have to think about being dependent on someone else.

Moving on..

So, I was talking to Glen. This is our conversation:

Him: So, what are you working towards? You obviously work very hard. I'm assuming there is a goal.
Me: I'm working towards staying sane.
Him: Yeah, but what do you want to do with your life?
Me: It doesn't matter. It's all about what God wants, anyway.
Him: Very true! But you are obviously working towards serving him in a particular way.
Me: Right now I'm just going to work, going to school, and hoping He annoints my voice so that I can sing the way I want to.
Him: He's your everything, isn't He?
Me: Yeah, He really is.

Then, he goes on to say:

Him: Wow, not being sarcastic at all but that is wonderful. A woman with a heart for God is an amazing thing. I'm used to lots of Christians who are all talk and no heart, but it's just the opposite with you. You're all heart and not much talk.

I don't get it. What's so great about me? I am what I am. I don't try to glorify myself in any way. I just love God and want to display the love of Christ in my life. I want to live for God and His will. I didn't know that it was so wonderful from the eyes of another individual. Crazy.

I guess I'll go now. If I don't I'm going to go insane. I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over again with Audra. I can't keep reliving this same conversation and situation. Ugh.
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` Erika *
Date: 2006-11-03 21:19
Subject: So, I'm attached..
Security: Public
Music:Instrumental piano music
You know you’ve been immaculately blessed when you are left in amazement that you actually get paid money to go to work. I love all of my little kindergarteners and 1st graders. They make my life so much better. <3
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` Erika *
Date: 2006-11-03 19:36
Subject: Duh, Erika!
Security: Public
Music:"I like me" by Chaz
I don't know what's wrong with me. Things were going great at the beginning of the semester. Now, I basically have to force myself to go to class. I hate my history class, as well as my arts class. Both are equally boring and are of no interest to me, which is sad to say because I love both art and history. I love my english class but it lets out so late that I just don't want to go. So, to tell you how behind I am I did not go to school at all this past week, yet managed to take my Child Development course test. I made a 68. That is so NOT me at all.

Due next week:
-English book review (going to be about 10 pages in length)
-Kindergarten observation and chapter 9 test for my Child Development course

I have no idea what I am doing in that class. Yeah, I've read the book and started the paper, but she expects WAY too much. I just do not see how it is going to fall together. I had a book review due this past Monday. I have yet to even start that.

I'm screwed.

It's a good thing that I have tomorrow and Sunday off, because I don't think that I could make it if I were working weekends. Is it sad that I am overly-ecstatic about being able to sleep in to at least 9 o'clock tomorrow morning? I feel so.. not exhausted, not even tired, I just feel really drained. I may not wake up till' noon tomorrow. Yeah. That would be really nice. <3

I need to get my head back on straight and get my priorities in line. I cannot afford to fail any classes. I refuse to.

March For Life is coming up and I haven't even began saving money. I have a free place to stay because of Saving Arrows: Texas, but there are many other expenses that I need to save up for. This is going to be tough because I am currently in a financial bind. I know God is going to provide, but right now I am still without my car because it decides to die forever when I need it the most. I guess my view right now is, bring the storm to me because I know when it's through, the clouds will roll away and the skies will turn to blue.

I have no idea where I am going with this, so I think I'll just end it. Toodles! :)
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` Erika *
Date: 2006-11-01 21:14
Subject: This is why I love what I do..
Security: Public
Music:"Shine" by Salvador
Today one of the little girls in my class told me that I was the prettiest, best dressed, best smelling, and best teacher she has ever had. Even though she is in 1st grade and has only had one other teacher than me, it totally made my whole world. :)
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my journal
November 2007